The Longest 28 Hours Story

I took a chance and flew to NY to meet a wonderful girl I was introduced to via a mutual friend on-line. We spent 13 hours together and then I went back to Iraq.


THE FEELING Around AUG/SEP07 time frame I was participating in a military exercise in Korea when I just felt something I hadn't felt before while in any relationship. Those who know me very well, know that I easily separate relationships from work and have not had a problem with walking away from a relationship that interfered with work or my progression in life. This relationship was different and it overcame me with feelings that I could not explain. It hit me like a brick that I had come across "the one", kind of like something out of the matrix. I think I took the blue pill....lol THE DISCUSSION Upon my return Jaymie and I had been discussing one of her friends engagements (Joslyn) that I believe occurred in the beginning of OCT. She was so excited about Joslyn's engagement and the ring she had received. So I asked her that if we one day were to get engaged what type of ring would she like? She said she did not know, she had never really thought about it. I of course harassed her and told her that every normal woman her age knows what type of ring they want. She must surely have some idea but she once again insisted she never really thought about it. So I then convinced her to just shop around and look to see what's out there that she would like. I asked her to search for her "dream ring" in her spare time. Over the next couple of weeks she went out and looked at rings in stores and online and would give me feedback about what she thought. Of course the whole time I was taking notes without her knowledge. :) THE CALL On 25OCT07 I get a phone call from Jaymie. She's super excited and is talking a million miles an hour about the perfect ring. She says to me, " Honey, I found the perfect ring at Anthony Roberts and you have to buy it for me now...". Before she could continue I rudely interrupted her with a very disinterested attitude and said, "I don't have time for this right now I’m on my way to a meeting." She was on FIRE, fuming mad, she just said, "FINE, I’m done looking at rings!!!" and almost hung up on me. LOL After we hung up the phone I immediately Googled "Anthony Roberts Jeweler, NY" and got a phone number. I instantly called and said to the first person that picked up, " I need to speak to the employee that just helped Jaymie Rosario look at an engagement ring". It just so happen that the lady who answered the phone was the one that had helped Jaymie. I told her who I was and that I needed all of the specifications of that ring ASAP along with pictures. Unfortunately this jeweler was a little behind the times and did not have internet or an email address so I had to wait for pictures and specifications the old fashioned way...snail mail! 7 days later I get the pictures and specifications and am impressed with the ring but I still needed to pick out a diamond of my choice. Which I researched on line and through stores in Hawaii before giving my requirements to the Jeweler. I also recognized that because this place was behind the times and I was on the other side of the Pacific Ocean that I was going to need to employ some help. THE CONSPIRER So I turn to Jaymie's oldest sister Bonnie. It just so happens that I end up talking to Bonnie about the 2nd week of NOV so I asked her if she would mind doing me a favor. She blurted out, "What you wanna marry my sister or something?". I kind of laughed and was like, “Well, actually yes." We both laughed and she was excited to be my "conspirer" in the family. To be honest she was the only one in the family that I could trust with a secret of this magnitude. So with Bonnie as my "conspirer" I continued plotting how to execute this plan without giving Jaymie any signs that it was coming. At the same time Bonnie was my main contact on the ground in NY talking to the Jeweler directly on my behalf. She was GREAT!!!! THE CONSPIRACY I discussed with Bonnie that I wanted to ask for her parents blessing before proposing and that I needed to do this without Jaymie's knowledge. Bonnie and I started plotting a timeline that was in concurrence with my vacation plans to NY to spend Christmas with Jaymie’s family. Jaymie had already put together a schedule of events for us to do while in NY. The first event was for us to re-do our very first date together that occurred 14 months earlier. Trying to keep on Jaymie’s schedule I found a fake flight that was coming into Newark on 23NOV at 11pm from Hawaii and told Jaymie I would be on it. The truth was that I was coming in at 3pm and Bonnie was going to pick me up and take me straight to the Jeweler to pick up the ring at 4pm. Bonnie had also set up a private dinner with her parents, just the 3 of them for 6pm. After dinner the plan was to go to the house and surprise Jaymie with my early arrival. DATE OF EXECUTION I take off from Hawaii for the beginning of the longest 28hrs of my life but was full of adrenaline that kept me going. It took me about 12 hours of flight time to get to Newark not including my layovers in Chicago and Raleigh. Which during one of the layovers I make the mistake of calling Bonnie not knowing that she is with Jaymie at her parents house. We both tried to play it off but Jaymie knew that we were up to something but she did not know what. Bonnie leaves the house and picks me up at the Airport and proceeds to take me to the Jeweler. Then as we are stuck in traffic Jaymie text messages me asking for my flight info. With all of my careful planning and time zone crossings I couldn’t remember what fake info I had given her before and I forgot to bring it with me. So I text messaged her that I would be in at 11pm but didn’t know my flight number. I also made the mistake of telling her that my phone battery was dying, which she knew was very uncharacteristic of me. She once again suspected something was up. Bonnie and I go pick up the ring at Anthony Roberts, which was more beautiful in person than in the pictures I had received from Bonnie. THE DINNER Bonnie and I are done with the Jeweler after about 45 minutes and ready to meet with her parents for dinner with 30 minutes to spare. Then Bonnie gets a phone call that her father isn’t feeling so well and they may have to cancel dinner. So Bonnie and I sit at a Dunkin Doughnuts drinking coffee trying to figure out how to get Jaymie out of the house so I could get some alone time with her parents. About 15 minutes into our plotting her mother calls and says they are coming to dinner. I was so relieved!!! Bonnie and I proceed to the restaurant with me carrying a box of fresh Hawaiian pineapples (her fathers favorites). A couple of minutes after sitting down her parents arrive and are extremely surprised to see me there. So Bonnie and I tell them that we are trying to surprise Jaymie by my early arrival. Which Jaymie began harassing Bonnie with text messages saying we were up to something. It actually had us paranoid at dinner because we thought she was going to show up. As we sat there I contemplated when to raise the topic. I didn’t want to spoil their dinner before hand so I didn’t say anything as we ate dinner and caught up. I felt totally relaxed with her parents but must have been nervous because I think I went to the bathroom like 4 times. When we completed dinner her father stated that they were going to go home and that they wouldn’t ruin the surprise of me coming in early and that is when I interjected and said, “Actually I’m here early because I wanted to ask for your daughters hand in marriage and would like to get both your blessings.” “I have no fancy speech to give you other than to say that she is the one I live for.” (or something like that..lol) When I looked at her mother she had tears in her eyes but her father responded with “ How much do I write you a check for?” I took the opportunity and one upped him by saying, “Actually I’d like to give you this box of pineapples for her.” He was speechless and we all burst out into laughter. After all of the laughter they gave me their blessings. Come to find out her mom was trying to get the dad to play a trick on me by saying “no” as they did with one of there other son in laws when he asked. Apparently I was too quick with the pineapple offer that he didn’t get enough time to think about it. THE ARRIVAL After dinner we had to ensure that Jaymie didn’t know we were all at dinner together. Especially since her parents dis-invited her from the dinner because Bonnie insisted they come alone. So we plotted that Jaymies parents would leave 20 minutes ahead of us and tell Jaymie that Bonnie left dinner early. We had to go over this plot like 5 times because Jaymies mom wasn’t good at keeping secrets or lying with a straight face. Bonnie and I finally get to the house and I sit in the foyer while Bonnie proceeds to call Jaymie out of her room. She is aggravated because she’s trying to get ready to pick me up. She finally comes out of her room and sees me and starts yelling “Conspirers!” She is super excited I’m there but at the same time she’s telling us that she knew we were up to something and that we couldn’t get her with surprises! I told her that she was right and that she had caught us in trying to surprise her with my early arrival. After all of the excitement I tell her, “Well lets go on our date.” THE DATE For those who don’t know our first date was when I was on R&R from Iraq. I had flown on a “whim” to NY to see Jaymie for the first time after a couple of months of emails and phone conversations. I actually only spent about 13hours on the trip because I had to hurry up and get back to NC for my flight back to Iraq. Anyways for our date I had expressed to her that I craved NY style pizza really bad and that I wanted to go to the top of the Empire State Building because I had never been to the top. Fast forwarding to the present. Jaymie and I proceed to go on our first date again. We parked in the same parking garage, ate pizza at the same pizza parlor (Monetti’s NY Pizza) and then proceeded to walk to the Empire State Building along the same route through the city as we did the first time. THE PROPOSAL We get to the Empire State Building and the employees tell us that they are closing in 15 minutes because there was no visibility. I thought to myself how do I insist we go up without making her suspicious? Before I could say anything Jaymie told the employee she didn’t care and that we were going up to the top! She played it perfectly into my hands. So we proceed to the top of the building and I ask Jaymie to take me to the first spot she took me to the last time. She did and started pointing out the different areas of the city as she did last time. We stood there making small talk, reminiscing and gazing into each others eyes. As we are embraced in one another she goes to put her hands in my coat pockets when I realized that I had put the ring in one of my coat pockets earlier. So I quickly reacted and grabbed her hands before they could reach the bottom of my pockets. As we stood there gazing into each others eyes and holding hands (in my pockets) I said, “Honey, this is where we had our first date and it is where it all started. I think it is only appropriate that we take it to the next level here as well.” At the same time I went down to one knee and said, “Jaymie Lorraine Rosario will you marry me?” She immediately put her hands to her face and started tearing up murmuring words in English, Spanish, or Spanglish. I don’t really remember which language she used. None of the words translating into a yes or no. As I remained on bended knee, for about a minute, I didn’t realize I had placed my knee on a rock that was digging into my knee cap. So I said, “Honey, my knee really hurts can you give me an answer, any answer so that I can get up?” She shook her head wildly and said, “YES, YES, YES!!!” So I then proceeded to grab her hand from the kneeling position because she still had her hands over her face. I go to put the ring on her finger and it didn’t fit so I’m thinking, “did I get the wrong size?” but then quickly realize that I had the wrong hand. So I say to Jaymie, “This isn’t the right hand is it?” With tears in her eyes and a chuckle she says, “No.” So I proceed to grab the proper hand and place the ring on her finger. PERFECT FIT! I would have to say because of her reaction that she was probably surprised. LOL I couldn’t have timed it better because soon after my proposal the Empire State Building was closing and I was freezing my ass off!!! This my friends was the longest 28 hours of my life but well worth it!!!

If You Forget Me

I want you to know
one thing.


You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.


Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.


If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.


If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.


But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine



by Pablo Neruda

Life Is Fine

I went down to the river,

I set down on the bank.

I tried to think but couldn't,

So I jumped in and sank.

I came up once and hollered!

I came up twice and cried!

If that water hadn't a-been so cold

I might've sunk and died.

But it was Cold in that water! It was cold!

I took the elevator

Sixteen floors above the ground.

I thought about my baby

And thought I would jump down.

I stood there and I hollered!

I stood there and I cried!

If it hadn't a-been so high

I might've jumped and died.

But it was High up there! It was high!

So since I'm still here livin',

I guess I will live on.

I could've died for love--

But for livin' I was born

Though you may hear me holler,

And you may see me cry--

I'll be dogged, sweet baby,

If you gonna see me die.

Life is fine! Fine as wine! Life is fine!

by Langston Hughes

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.


by Robert Frost

I Carry Your Heart With Me

I carry your heart with me (I carry it in
my heart) I am never without it(anywhere
I go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
I fear
no fate (for you are my fate,my sweet) I want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you


here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart


I carry your heart(I carry it in my heart)

by E. E. Cummings

A Dream Within A Dream

Take this kiss upon the brow!

And, in parting from you now,

Thus much let me avow--

You are not wrong, who deem

That my days have been a dream;

Yet if hope has flown away

In a night, or in a day,

In a vision, or in none,

Is it therefore the less gone?

All that we see or seem

Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar

Of a surf-tormented shore,

And I hold within my hand

Grains of the golden sand--

How few! yet how they creep

Through my fingers to the deep,

While I weep--while I weep!

O God! can I not grasp

Them with a tighter clasp?

O God! can I not save

One from the pitiless wave?

Is all that we see or seem

But a dream within a dream?

by Edgar Allan Poe

Activities That Will Save Your Relationships

Relationships require a lot of hard work. They are fun, wonderful, important things but they can also be very difficult to maintain. Trying to make two people’s lives work together at even the most basic level always results in some type of conflict or confusion. When you get into more intimate relationships and intense relationships (like living together and being married) things get even more complicated. Luckily there are some things that you can practice doing every single day that will improve your relationships. When doing these things becomes a habit you will find that all of your relationships go a little bit more smoothly. Sure you’ll still need to work at them but a lot of that work will get easier when you get used to doing these ten things every day.


The ten daily things that should be done to make your relationships better are:



1.     Take plenty of time for yourself. The number one mistake that most people make which ruins their relationships is that they don’t truly put time with themselves at the top of their priority list. You need to be one hundred percent okay with yourself and in touch with yourself if you want to have happy relationships. You need to take time to yourself to be a good wife, husband, parent, child, etc. Learn to take just a little bit of time to get in touch with yourself each day and a lot of the hassles that happen between you and others will naturally just melt away.


2.     Think before you speak. A lot of the problems that we have in relationships are small problems. We get annoyed with the people in our lives. We snap at them. We say things that we don’t mean. We speak from out emotions instead of saying the logical things that we really mean when we think it through. If you stop each day to practice thinking before you say something then your communication will improve and all of your relationships will get better as a result.


3.     Blame yourself for problems. No, you don’t want to beat yourself up about things. However you should definitely make a conscious effort to stop focusing on what other people are doing wrong to you. Stop trying to change anyone. Instead, focus on what you can do differently to make yourself happier. For example, if your husband always comes in and turns on the TV too loudly while you’re reading you could blame him and ask him to stop … or you could move to another room. Don’t move angrily, just move, solve the problem and move on. There will certainly be big things that do need discussion and compromise but a lot of little things will become so much less problematic if you stop playing the blame game and just resolve the issue the best way that you can solve it on your own.


4.     Say nice things. We all want people to say nice things to us. You don’t have to go overboard and compliment people all of the time. However you should be pleasant and nice, point out the great things that you notice about people, send a smile their way in the morning. This makes the connection between you and others a much nicer one for both of you to enjoy.


5.     Listen to what is actually being said. Don’t jump to conclusions about things that you are told. Don’t read between then lines. Don’t try to figure out the real meaning behind someone’s tone. Just listen to what they say. Assess it. Ask questions if you’re not sure about it. Take things at face value and let yourself relax inside of your relationships.


6.     Go for a walk. People are happier and healthier when they get exercise on a daily basis. It may sound like it’s not a lot of fun or it’s something that you don’t have time for. Do it anyway. The better you feel, the better you’ll be in your relationships and the better your relationships will be for you. Walk with people and you may end up connecting to them even more!


7.     Forgive. Don’t hold people up to unrealistic expectations. They’re human. Forgive them when they do something wrong. Don’t keep harping on it. Let it go. Of course you don’t want to let people walk all over you so be aware of your own boundaries but learn to forgive the things that don’t matter or didn’t really harm you or deserve to be forgiven. You’ll be happier with your relationships when you do.


8.     Be easy on yourself. Many people beat themselves up about their own failures in their relationships. They think they should’ve called their friend and are mad at themselves that they didn’t. They know they often flake out on people or snap at them and feel guilty about it. Stop beating yourself up. Let it go. It’s a new day. Be a better friend now and forgive yourself when you’re not. It’s just life!


9.     Do something fun every day with someone else. Take the time to enjoy the little things in life with others. Life is too hard if you’re constantly assessing problems, talking about money, worrying about how to raise the kids, figuring out what your next steps are … make sure to take at least twenty minutes per day to just do something purely fun with someone in your life that you want to be more connected with. A card game, a shared bubble bath, a nice long phone call … these are little things that make a big difference in the happiness level of your relationships.


10. Say thanks. Keep a gratitude journal. At the start or end of each day take five minutes to sit down and list the things that you are thankful for about the people in your life. Your perspective on how great these people are will begin to shift to an increasingly positive view on them and your relationships will blossom before your eyes. Most of what goes on your relationships is actually about how you perceive them!

7 Disadvantages of Long Distance Relationships

Every relationship has it’s ups and downs, but none of those problems could anyhow compare to the ones you’ll have to face if you, by any chance, decide to engage in a long distance relationship. I’m not saying long distance relationships suck, on no! I just have a firsthand experience on how it all works and, although you can expect a lot of wonderful, happy moments, you have to be prepared that it’s not all flowers and butterflies. So here’s the list of some problems I had to deal with and some practical tips and solutions I kind of figured out in the process of trying to keep my relationship healthy, strong and filled with love and passion.


1. You can’t see each other every day
Nothing beats live conversation, hugs, kisses and romantic moments spent together! Skype can make things a little bit easier because you don’t have to type – you can just turn your camera on, sit back, relax and chat. However, not even Skype can replace that wonderful feeling of knowing that your special somebody is just a phone call away. But, let’s look on the bright side – all this time you spend away from each other makes you appreciate those rare, special moments you actually get to share. So snap as many photos as you can and look at them whenever you feel sad or lonely.


2. Costs
Long distance relationships cost a lot. I know, I know, it sounds bad, but it’s totally true. I often say that meeting my fiancé is the best and the worst thing that has ever happened to me. Best, because I’ve never been happier and worst, because I’ve never been more broke. From transportation to phone and internet bills – everything costs more when you’re not living in the same place. If you’re both working, these things won’t have a huge impact on your relationship, but if you’re not, financial problems may destroy your relationship. Find a part time job and figure out a good savings strategy. A long distance relationship works best if you join forces so never say “My money” or “Your money” – split the costs and do everything you can to help each other financially.


3. Loneliness
You can’t call him and say, “Hey, can you drop by? I had a crappy day and I need to see you.” You can’t be there to comfort him when he’s going through a rough time. All this can be rather depressing and you’ll often feel sad and guilty for not being there for your significant other. You’ll feel lonely too. Especially if everybody around you have somebody to hang with. Yup, there will be days when your friends are out with their boyfriends and you have to sit at home knowing that he’s somewhere out there, having a crappy time too. Don’t let these feelings get you down, hun! Think about happy times, think about the future and your next meeting. Positive thinking is the key element in every long distance relationship.


4. Fears
“What if he finds somebody else?”, “What if he gets bored of waiting?”, “What if he’s cheating?”… Even the most confident ones will face some of the long distance relationship demons sooner or later. That’s why you have to make things clear right at the beginning and find different ways to express your love and show that your loved one is the only thing that keeps you going. Send him/her a text message when he/she is not expecting it. If you’re out partying call your partner to tell him how much you miss him and how much you wish he could be there to share this moment with you. These things count!


5. Scheduling
You have a job, he has a job, you can afford to see each other often and there’s just one tiny problem that needs to be solved in order for your relationship to turn into a real life fairytale – timing! You can’t just pack your bags and leave town for a week. Right? And I’m pretty sure you’re running out of excuses and “sick days”. Now, this is a problem most couples face because you just can’t have both, free time to travel and money to finance your trips. What you need is a good strategy and some good old fashioned planning. Ask your boss if you could set up a remote office and do the job from your home. Explain that this is a great savings strategy and that both of you can benefit from it. Think, plan, schedule and re-schedule… find ways to be efficient, have more free time and don’t forget to organize your personal time and your time as a couple.


6. Different rules
Long distance relationships work differently than the regular ones. There’s no room for playing hard to get or sending mixed signals. You don’t start a long distance relationship because you’re bored but because you have a feeling that person is something special. You have to be honest and show that you’re ready to commit. You have to let that person know you’re serious and that you think he/she is worth fighting for. You can’t play games. And that’s one of the hardest things to get used to because we all like to play games, we think it’s the way it’s supposed to be.


7. Misunderstandings
Different time zones, text messages, cultural or even language differences – being misunderstood or misinterpreting your partner’s words or actions is bound to happen sooner or later. Now, some of you may laugh or think these things are easy to sort out but, believe me, in a long distance relationship, a tiny misunderstanding can cause a great deal of trouble! Being “lost in the translation” is what almost destroyed my relationship and the only thing I can say today is – thank God we were patient and in love!


My sister used to tell me I’m crazy, my fiancé’s friends didn’t believe our “wireless” relationship could last. All these people are jealous now and they often look at us and say, “Oh, why all great things always happen to others and never to us?” So, tell me, would you ever risk facing all these problems and engage in a risky thing called “long distance relationship”? Would you be willing to put your courage, patience and love to the test or would you rather opt for a less problematic, less expensive and less platonic, normal relationship?