A Story of Love and Regret

There was this guy who believed very much in true love and decided to take his time to wait for his right girl to appear. He believed that there would definitely be someone special out there for him, but none came.


Every year at Christmas, his ex-girlfriend would return from Vancouver to look him up. He was aware that she still held some hope of re-kindling the past romance with him. He did not wish to mislead her in any way. So he would always get one of his girl friends to pose as his steady whenever she came back. That went on for several years and each year, the guy would get a different girl to pose as his romantic interest. So whenever the ex-girlfriend came to visit him, she would be led into believing that it was all over between her and the guy. The girl took all those rather well, often trying to casually tease him about his different girlfriends, or so, as it seemed! In fact, the girl often wept in secret whenever she saw him with another girl, but she was too proud to admit it. Still, every Christmas, she returned, hoping to re-kindle some form of romance. But each time, she returned to Vancouver feeling disappointed.


Finally she decided that she could not play that game any longer. Therefore, she confronted him and professed that after all those years, he was still the only man that she had ever loved. Although the guy knew of her feelings for him, he was still taken back and have never expected her to react that way. He always thought that she would slowly forget about him over time and come to terms that it was all over between them. Although he was touched by her undying love for him and wanted so much to accept her again, he remembered why he rejected her in the first place-she was not the one he wanted. So he hardened his heart and turned her down cruelly. Since then, three years have passed and the girl never return anymore. They never even wrote to each other. The guy went on with his life..... still searching for the one but somehow deep inside him, he missed the girl.


On the Christmas of 1995, he went to his friend's party alone. "Hey, how come all alone this year? Where are all your girlfriends? What happened to that Vancouver babe who joins you every Christmas?", asked one of his friend. He felt warm and comforted by his friend's queries about her, still he just surged on.
Then, he came upon one of his many girlfriends whom he once requested to pose as his steady. He wanted so much to ignore her ..... not that he was impolite, but because at that moment, he just didn't feel comfortable with those girlfriends anymore. It was almost like he was being judged by them. The girl saw him and shouted across the floor for him. Unable to avoid her, he went up to acknowledge her.


"Hi......how are you? Enjoying the party?" the girl asked.


"Sure.....yeah!", he replied.
She was slightly tipsy..... must be from the whiskey on her hand. She continued,
"Why...? Don't you need someone to pose as your girlfriend this year?" Then he answered, "No, there is no need for that anymore......"
Before he can continue, he was interrupted, "Oh yes! Must have found a girlfriend! You haven't been searching for one for the past years, right?" The man looked up, as if he has struck gold, his face beamed and looked directly at the drunken girl. He replied, "Yes......you are right! I haven't been looking for anyone for the past years."
With that, the man darted across the floor and out the door, leaving the lady in much bewilderment. He finally realized that he has already found his dream girl, and she was.....the Vancouver girl all along! The drunken lady has said something that awoken him.


All along he has found his girl. That was why he did not bother to look further when he realized she was not coming back. It was not any specific girl he was seeking! It was perfection that he wanted, and yes.....perfection!!
Relationship is something both parties should work on. Realizing that he had let away someone so important in his life, he decided to call her immediately. His whole mind was flooded with fear. He was afraid that she might have found someone new or no longer had the same feelings anymore..... For once, he felt the fear of losing someone.


As it was Christmas eve, the line was quite hard to get through, especially an overseas call. He tried again and again, never giving up. Finally, he got through......precisely at 1200 midnight. He confessed his love for her and the girl was moved to tears. It seemed that she never got over him! Even after so long, she was still waiting for him, never giving up.


He was so excited to meet her and to begin his new chapter of their lives. He decided to fly to Vancouver to join her. It was the happiest time of their lives! But their happy time was short-lived. Two days before he was supposed to fly to Vancouver, he received a call from her father. She had a head-on car collision with a drunken driver. She passed away after 6 hours in a coma.
The guy was devastated, as it was a complete loss. Why did fate played such cruel games with him? He cursed the heaven for taking her away from him, denying even one last look at her! How cruel he cursed! How he damned the Gods...!! How he hated himself....for taking so long to realize his mistake!! That was in 1996.




The moral of this story is :
Treasure what you have...
Time is too slow for those who wait;
Too swift for those who fear;
Too long for those who grief;
Too short for those who rejoice;
But for those who love...
Time is Eternity.


For all you out there with someone special in your heart, cherish that person, cherish every moment that you spend together that special someone, for in life, anything can happen anytime. You may painfully regret, only to realise that it is too late.

Unconditional Love

From the very Begining, the girl's family objected strongly on her dating this guy. Saying that it has got to do with family background & that the girl will have to suffer for the rest of her life if she were to be with him.


Due to family's pressure, the couple quarrel very often. Though the girl love the guy deeply, but she always ask him: "How deep is your love for me?"


As the guy is not good with his words, this often cause the girl to be very upset. With that & the family's pressure, the girl often vent her anger on him. As for him, he only endure it in silence.


After a couple of years, the guy finally graduated & decided to further his studies in overseas. Before leaving, he proposed to the girl: "I'm not very good with words. But all I know is that I love you. If you allow me, I will take care of you for the rest of my life. As for your family, I'll try my best to talk them round. Will you marry me?"


The girl agreed, & with the guy's determination, the family finally gave in & agreed to let them get married. So before he leave, they got engaged.


The girl went out to the working society, whereas the guy was overseas, continuing his studies. They sent their love through emails & phone calls. Though it's hard, but both never thought of giving up.


One day, while the girl was on her way to work, she was knocked down by a car that lost control. When she woke up, she saw her parents beside her bed. She realised that she was badly injured. Seeing her mum crying, she wanted to comfort her. But she realized that all that could come out of her mouth was just a sigh. She has lost her voice......


The doctors says that the impact on her brain has caused her to lose her voice. Listening to her parents' comfort, but with nothing coming out from her, she broke down.


During the stay in hospital, besides silence cry,.....it's still just silence cry that companied her. Upon reaching home, everything seems to be the same. Except for the ringing tone of the phone. Which pierced into her heart everytime it rang. She does not wish to let the guy know. & not wanting to be a burden to him, she wrote a letter to him saying that she does not wish to wait any longer.


With that, she sent the ring back to him. In return, the guy sent millions & millions of reply, and countless of phonecalls,.. all the girl could do, besides crying, is still crying....


The parents decided to move away, hoping that she could eventually forget everything & be happy.


With a new environment, the girl learn sign language & started a new life. Telling herself everyday that she must forget the guy. One day, her friend came & told her that he's back. She asked her friend not to let him know what happened to her. Since then, there wasn't anymore news of him.




A year has passed & her friend came with an envelope, containing an invitation card for the guy's wedding. The girl was shattered. When she open the letter, she saw her name in it instead.


When she was about to ask her friend what's going on, she saw the guy standing in front of her. He used sign language telling her "I've spent a year's time to learn sign language. Just to let you know that I've not forgotten our promise. Let me have the chance to be your voice. I Love You. With that, he slipped the ring back into her finger. The girl finally smiled.

Somewhere I Have Never Travelled

somewhere i have never travelled,gladly beyond
any experience,your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near


your slightest look easily will unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skilfully,mysteriously)her first rose


or if your wish be to close me, i and
my life will shut very beautifully ,suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;


nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility:whose texture
compels me with the color of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing


(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens;only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody,not even the rain,has such small hands

by E. E. Cummings

The Universal Pen

People draw and scribble down their experiences thus giving it an outlet for emotions to inculcate into our hearts.A pen can drown your sorrow into pieces, in writing about life and death, religion and the undying search for God, a jammed head with useless clichés, of heartbreak and loss of a once found love, and the intimacy of people to relate to others. 


When we talked and opened our hearts for the things that we once grasped, we end up desperately laughing at someone else's pity. We sing about happiness, and memories, and faith and pretended to put a smile for everyone, even if it hurts. Our hearts are filled with whispered agony because of the broken trust. A barrel of tears will fall but the pen will always immensely intensify and ignite the part to hope for love again. 


We never fail to jot down about wishes, dreams, and hopes. When we wish we giggled our way to ask reality to give it to us. As we close our eyes we put each dreams together to the feelings and emotions believing that this could be true. The mysteries about life that we hoped to prove to ourselved will lead us to the den of frustrations knowing that things will never be perfected.


Nobody is never afraid of a bittersweet agony of falling again and the things that no one seems to realize that can make us tremble and tumble to the scariest part of the dark and no one will be there to talk to, the pen will humbly let you speak for yourself and sing praises of joy again.

If Only...

We all have stories to tell about life. May it be in pain or joy, I have a story and it is a different one.

I have always been dreaming of a perfect life story. A unique love story to share. An unbelievable experience that would shape up the whole world. I wanted the people to know that I exist. I dreamed of an affluent family in the land, a beauty queen, a woman that is adored by many, and a life that problems never seize to exist. But I was wrong!

I have a unique love story though to share. All my life I wanted a prince that would show me the world, a man that would care no matter how moody I am, someone who is willing to fight for me and the person that I can always rely on. But to my surprise; I am always in the shadows, in that gleam of light that no one could notice, a secret that painfully crushed and crashes the depth in me and a fading destiny.

When asked, I smiled. When in pain, I cried alone. When happy, I wish I could share. I once thought of you highly but you have never been that person you showed. I asked myself why do you have to be like that considering the fact that you are so loved. Reasons here and there but people gets tired. The heart knows when enough is reached.

Never take for granted the one that has always cared for you. You might wake up someday that they left for good. Don't assume on the things in life because pain can always strike anytime. 

Is LOVE a Choice or a Feeling?

The people when asked about how they rate love if it is a feeling or a choice we can hear various reactions and opinions. How can you define love? Is it a choice or a feeling?

A bunch of people will say love simply is a choice. A person chooses his/her other half to be with forever. Someone they can rely on when things get rough with life. A choice that would led them to fall in love.

Love is a feeling because it chooses you. You can never be with someone unless you have learned to love. It is a feeling because it will strike at you when you see the person.

But is love really a choice or a feeling?

Letting Go vs Holding On

How can someone be sure of loving unconditionally a person against all odds?

There are stories bound to change a persons being by showing affection towards another. In life we have lived by different stories on how we can get along in finding the other half that we have been looking for or for some they have waited for. How can we define its' essence in reality? We have found a person incapable of love but have succeeded in winning his affection and we see people fought for love but have lost it.

Is letting go a sign of love? They say when you let go you have put behind all your feelings and grudges towards the person you have loved just to make them happy. Letting go is never easy, they said that it would bring a persons life in custody for questioning unto how and why it happened. When you say go you let the feelings around you fly with the wind and along with the person. Tears fall and memories run dry as time passes by but what if you have met the person that causes your grief over love? Does that mean you have forgotten about it?

What if holding on to your love is a great cause for them to notice that you are the one for them? You might say that martyr people have always won the hearts of their beloved but when time passes the pain will always be there. Blinded by the facts of the person you love have sinned; deaf on all the opinions of the others; and mute on all the sufferings you have because you wanted to stay and fight for it. Holding on might seem a negative way of fighting for the one you love because when you think of it, no one can despise you even the your other himself. Holding on seems endless to the people who have focused their beings to only one person.

Whatever the meaning of love from me to you, I would say that love is never CONDITIONAL. Loving would simply mean taking each day at at time to cherish the moments and bagging the experiences that only you can have. We have all borrowed all the things on earth even our life itself, letting go and holding on would also mean that the things we have borrowed may have belonged to somebody else and it's time for us to return them WHOLEHEARTEDLY.